Parents' Column | Soroban
When your child says
“I want to quit soroban”
“I don't want to go anymore.” “I want to quit soroban.” If your child keeps up an activity long enough, you will hear these words at least once. Before deciding right away whether to quit or not, start by asking the reason and sorting out what can be done. Here are the reasons we see most often in our classrooms, how to think about continuing, taking a break or stopping, and what to say to your child.
Soroban (the Japanese abacus) or any other activity: if a child keeps at it long enough, the day usually comes when they say “I want to quit.” As a parent, you wonder, “Is it all right to let them stop here?” “Should I make them continue?” The important thing is not to decide on the words “I want to quit” alone. Behind those words, there is almost always a reason.
Common reasons for “I want to quit”
These are the reasons we see most often in our classrooms.
| Reason | What it often looks like |
|---|---|
| It got hard | Around the time new ways of calculating appear: carrying and borrowing, multiplication, division |
| Not moving up a kyu | Failed the exam several times in a row, or a friend moved ahead |
| Friends or the classroom | A close friend quit, or something at the classroom is bothering them |
| No time, too tired | School, other lessons or club activities have become busy |
| Found something else they want to do | A new activity or hobby has caught their interest |
| No particular reason | They can’t quite explain it themselves |
The most common one by far is “it got hard.” Everyone stumbles once when something new comes up. Many children get past that point and enjoy soroban again.
First, ask why
- Don’t decide on the spot: Put both “OK, let’s quit” and “No, you have to keep going” aside for now.
- Ask specifically: “When did you start feeling this way?” “Which problems do you dislike?” “Did something happen at the classroom?” Children often can’t put the reason into words themselves.
- Accept the feeling: “So that’s how you feel.” “You’ve reached a hard part, haven’t you?” When children feel understood, it becomes easier for them to tell you the real reason.
- Ask the teacher, too: How a child acts in class can differ from what you see at home. The teacher knows where your child is stuck.
What you can do for each reason
- It got hard
Tell the teacher. We look at where your child is stuck and think about how to explain and practice it differently. At home, find the things your child can now do and praise them out loud.
- Not moving up a kyu
One option is to set a milestone such as “until the next exam.” Looking not only at pass or fail but at “how many more points than last time” makes progress easier to see. Kodomo School holds exams four times a year (March, June, September and December), so your child can try again every three months.
- Friends or the classroom
Please talk to the teacher first. If you tell us what your child said at home, we can keep an eye on things in class, too.
- No time, too tired
Look over the weekly schedule together. If the busy period is temporary, taking a short break is also an option.
- Found something else they want to do
Being interested in something new is wonderful. Think together with your child about whether both can be continued, or which comes first.
- No particular reason
Setting a small goal together — “the next kyu,” “this many mental math problems” — can sometimes change how they feel.
Continue, take a break, or stop?
| Option | When it fits |
|---|---|
| Continue | The reason is clear, and after talking with the teacher you have found something that can be done |
| Take a break | A temporarily busy time, because of school events, entrance exams, health and so on |
| Stop | You have asked why, talked with the teacher, and your child’s feelings still haven’t changed |
If you decide to stop, acknowledge what your child has kept up — “You worked hard all this way” — and give them a good ending. The calculation skills gained with soroban, and the experience that “practice made me able to do it,” don’t disappear when they stop.
When not to push on
If your child’s mind or body is showing the strain — feeling unwell before lessons, crying and refusing to go, not sleeping — don’t insist on continuing; think about a break first. Then tell the teacher what is happening, and let’s think it over together.
Frequently asked questions
If my child says they want to quit, should I let them quit right away?
Don’t decide right away; first ask why. Many reasons, such as “it got hard,” can change after talking with the teacher. It is not too late to decide after you have asked, talked with the teacher, and your child’s feelings still haven’t changed.
Is it all right to say “You have to keep going”?
Rather than simply making them continue, it works better to set a milestone together with your child, such as “let’s try until the next exam.” If they make it to that point, talk it over again then.
Can my child take a break for a while?
Yes. If you tell us by the 10th of the month, your child can take a break from the following month (up to 3 months). There is no enrollment fee when they come back. If the classroom is full, you may have to wait.
By when do I need to tell you if we want to leave?
The deadline is the 10th of each month. For example, if you tell us by October 10, the withdrawal is at the end of October; if you tell us on October 11, it is at the end of November. Please contact the head office through our official LINE account or by phone, then hand the withdrawal form to your classroom teacher.
Up to what kyu should my child continue?
There is no rule. Many people aim for 3rd kyu or higher in the soroban grade exams, but more important than the kyu is that your child can feel “I’m glad I did it.” You can see what each kyu means in Soroban grade exams: the kyu levels and how to take them.
If you ever feel like quitting, talk to someone about it first!
About the author
Taito MoritaFounder & principal of Kodomo School (Morita Group Co., Ltd.)
He carries on the Morita Juku founded in Toyohashi in 1972. Through soroban, calligraphy and art at about 90 classrooms in Aichi and Shizuoka and at our Hanoi school in Vietnam, he helps children build the strength to believe in themselves. He also gives talks and seminars on education.
Message from our founderTalks & seminarsUpdated: October 8, 2026
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